Caffeine

Is it possible that a person can become too old for caffeine? I don't think it's a helpful substance, it makes me want to scream out loud while listening to mundane conversations. I stand there wondering if people know that I am considering the ramifications of shouting in their faces that "no one gives a damn what they fixed their son, dog, cat or husband to eat last night for dinner". Yet I stand there nodding, smiling and even once in a while throw in interesting tid bits of my own. I only notice these moments after a strong cup of coffee. There must be something about those small brown beans, or the steaming hot water swimming with chemicals from some leaking manufacturing company they'll expose two years from now.
There was a traffic jam of such magnitude yesterday that the 405 North was completely shut down right before rush hour. A woman called into a radio show saying it took her two hours to drive two miles. She could've crawled faster. The only thing sadder than this is when I asked people to guess how long it took her and one said, "Oh probably three hours." I tell myself it's because my story led him to suspect a ridiculously long amount of time. Another person wasn't surprised, just shrugged his shoulders. I personally am going to raise a donkey behind my apartment building, initially he'll be in my apartment, I'll raise him as if he were a dog that just kept growing, got out of control if you will, and then I'm going to ride him to work. He has to go faster than two miles in two hours. I don't know what to do with all of this traffic outrage. I think I need a cup of coffee.